Love: Action, Noun, or Ideal? What of It?
Love. It’s one of those words that in its simplest state can be an action, a noun, an ideal; it can be everything and nothing. While catching up on one of my favorite shows, “Grey’s Anatomy,” the complex relationship between Callie and Arizona–a lesbian couple on the show–reminded me of just how complicated love can be. For those of you who don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, I won’t bore you with the long, albeit interesting, rundown of their relationship frame-by-frame. But, I will briefly fill you in on the important details. Callie (the brunette) was introduced to Arizona (the blond) when Arizona became a new resident Pediatrician. However, when Arizona hit on Callie, my attention stirred along with everyone else that tuned in to that episode; later in a bold display of passion, Arizona kissed Callie, thus beginning their great romance. On the show, their relationship has been the tricky battlefield where subjects of identity (Callie’s first lesbian relationship) as well as the trial and tribulations that come with love have taken place.
The relationship became stressed when Arizona was offered a once-in-a-lifetime grant for research to work in Africa. Because Callie loved her, she decided to attend, despite the fact that her relocation would interfere with her own career ambitions at Seattle Grace Hospital. The episode culminated in a surprising climax where Arizona broke up with Callie in the middle of the airport, walking away from their 3-year relationship. So, why did I choose to focus on this relationship and why on earth would I choose this as my first post? Put simply, regardless of sexual orientation, sex, gender, etc. we have all, at some point in our lives, had to go through this painful thing we call love. As toddlers, we were fed its fantastical feats through our favorite fairy tales and as adults, we are still reminded of it with a box of kleenex as we watch our favorite movies. All that being said, we remain oblivious to its pain until it is sitting on our doorstep waiting to come in. Even when you are in a relationship, we peak out of the window or observe heartbreak through the peephole and you can’t help but wonder what this thing is we call love.
If we really want to go there, it’s supposed to be the thing that creates us, leads to our birth, and walks with us until the end of our days–funny isn’t it?! However, what our mental rolodex of Walt Disney stories and songs doesn’t tell us is how we’re supposed to walk when our knees buckle after hearing, “I need to talk to you about something.” Or, when we are crying uncontrollably and life as we know it feels like it has ended after that person leaves. For those of you who still remain stone-faced, what about when your favorite cereal loaded with sugar no longer tempts you or your guilty pleasures are tainted with his/her memory; how do you reconstruct, rebuild, and reclaim “you?” Alright, I apologize for bringing back those painful memories, but I hope you see where I’m coming from. The idea of love as something meant to end happily ever after in blissful romance tends to be no truer than the idea of Santa Clause when you are 16 (I hope I didn’t ruin any dreams by revealing this).
But that being said, what is it? How do we define it? How do we plan for its inevitable grasp and, sometimes, its swift and unpredictable departure? Probably the greater reason for this blog post, how do we deal with the memories that validated our fantasy when we were happily in it, but then succumbed to love’s tempter tantrum that threw the fragile vase that held it all together at our feet? Referring to the old episode of Grey’s Anatomy, what happens when the face responsible for all of this comes back and whispers those three words that you have fought desperately to erase from your vocabulary?
I’ll end this post with a very important question: If you had one thing to say to the first person to ever break your heart, what would it be?
As always, if you want to be kept in the loop, all you have to do is say, “CC:ME, Keith.”
Nothing but love,
For the clips of the breakup between Callie and Arizona click here.